I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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One day I ran into my girlfriend with my car. She asked me why I didn't ride around her. I told her that I didn't think I had enough gas.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

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