If I wanted to hear from an idiot, I would’ve watched Sarah Palin videos.

Quotern

If I wanted to hear from an idiot, I would’ve watched Sarah Palin videos.

-- Anonymous

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I named all my children after flowers. There’s Lillie and Rose and my son, Artificial. —Bert Williams

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121. Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!

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I can’t compare quarterbacks as apples and oranges in my mind because everybody’s in a different system.

-- John Elway

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We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

-- Anonymous

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I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.

-- Anonymous

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