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I Wish My Parents Were Like Google. They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete.
-- Anonymous
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My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.
-- Gene Perret
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There is no wine so sweet as wine taken from a foe.                                                         
-- Anonymous
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Don’t text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don’t keep telling people what you’re doing. Also it lights up your big dumb face.
-- Louis C.K.
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Eat diamonds for breakfast and shine all day.
-- Anonymous
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
-- Anonymous
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