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156. Putting on a fake smile, so you don’t have to explain why you’re not happy.
-- Anonymous
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Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
-- Anonymous
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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. – Mitch Hedberg
-- Ayshu
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A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
-- Dennis Miller
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If you like me then raise your hands. If not then raise your standard.
-- Anonymous
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Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill, but not doing it because you’d miss them.
-- Ayshu
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