I’m so tired, the bags under my eyes are bigger than my boobs.

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I’m so tired, the bags under my eyes are bigger than my boobs.

-- Anonymous

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You own my heart. And my ass.

-- Anonymous

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Don’t text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don’t keep telling people what you’re doing. Also it lights up your big dumb face.

-- Louis C.K.

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If we can’t solve it via email, IM, texting, faxing, or phone calls, let’s resort to meeting in person.

-- ~ Anonymous

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Always remember: When SHE cancels a date, it is because.. She has to. But When HE cancels a date, it is because.. He has two.

-- Anonymous

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There are grandmothers out there who would move heaven and earth for their grandchildren.

-- Anonymous

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