Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.

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Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.

-- Anonymous

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If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

-- Bill Lyon

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I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food.

-- Anonymous

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I’ll have what she’s having.

-- Anonymous

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Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.

-- Anonymous

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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and start using sleep deprivation to torture you.

-- Ray Romano

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