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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
-- Anonymous
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My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
-- Vijayaraj
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I don’t care how much time passes between visits, I always feel like we were just together. I love being your Cousin! Happy Birthday!
-- Ayshu
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It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace.
-- Anonymous
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A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won’t get a bikini wax.
-- Rita Rudner
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The kitchen oven is reliable, but it’s made us lazy.
-- Anonymous
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