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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
-- Mark Twain
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The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong; he can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.  –
-- Mark Twain
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Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
-- Mark Twain
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
-- Mark Twain
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