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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain
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Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
-- Mark Twain
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Loyalty to the nation all the time, loyalty to the government when it deserves it. –
-- Mark Twain
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
-- Mark Twain
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
-- Mark Twain
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The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong; he can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.
-- Mark Twain
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