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The secret of success in life is known only to those who have not succeeded.
-- Anonymous
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I believe I used all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
-- Anonymous
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin
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I didn’t really forget your special day, I just figured you deserved more than one. Belated Happy Birthday!
-- Anonymous
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A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.
-- Jim Hayes
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When a man blames others for his failures, it’s a good idea to credit others with his successes.
-- Anonymous
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