I believe I used all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

Quotern

I believe I used all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

-- Anonymous

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For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

-- Ayshu

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You may plan to write a book someday, but you are living a book every day.

-- Anonymous

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In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.

-- Anonymous

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If you don’t like my words, don’t listen. If you don’t like my appearance, don’t look. If you don’t like my actions, turn your head; It’s as simple as that.

-- Vijayaraj

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What I tell a girl is, your six-pack hot boyfriend right now, in six years, will be balding and maybe have a paunch. But I make you laugh every five minutes today, and I’ll make you laugh 20 years from now; that’s not going to go away.

-- Vir Das

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