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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-- Mark Twain
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Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.
-- Mark Twain
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
-- Mark Twain
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
-- Mark Twain
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The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
-- Mark Twain
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
-- Mark Twain
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