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Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
-- Anonymous
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-- Phyllis Diller
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Don’t text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don’t keep telling people what you’re doing. Also it lights up your big dumb face.
-- Louis C.K.
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The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.
-- Prince William
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If at first you don’t succeed..try doing it the way your wife told you.
-- Ayshu
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