Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.

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Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.

-- Anonymous

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I love my crazy, goofy, sometimes stupid boyfriend

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I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

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Instead of a sign that says Do not disturb I need a sign that says Already disturbed. Proceed with caution.

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

-- George Carlin

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