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If I don’t answer, try calling me on my shell phone.
-- Anonymous
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When I’m good, I’m good…but when I’m bad I’m better.
-- Anonymous
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I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean but people always think I’m joking.
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I am not fat. I’m just much easier to see.
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143. Life is short, eat dessert first.
-- Ayshu
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Happy Birthday to me, the only person I haven’t lied to about my age
-- Anonymous
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