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Friendship is..a selfie
-- Anonymous
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What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? Hoodini.
-- Anonymous
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Laziness is the mother of all bad habits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.
-- Anonymous
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There are two great days in a person’s life — the day we are born and the day we discover why!
-- Anonymous
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[Employee]'s favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch ... S/he calls it lunch.
-- Anonymous
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The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
-- Anonymous
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