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This evening’s forecast includes a 0% chance of me cooking.
-- Anonymous
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-- Phyllis Diller
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Trust me you will dance- Alcohol
-- Anonymous
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Spoiler alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.
-- Vijayaraj
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch
-- Ayshu
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If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.
-- Mitch Hedberg
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