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Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.
-- Richard Pryor
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I forgive nothing. If you stole my orange crayon in the fifth grade, you’re still on my hit list, buddy. -Jonathan Carroll
-- Vijayaraj
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My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.
-- Anonymous
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I’ve been waiting for hours and I’ll be waiting for hours more, till my love arrives and my heart’s fulfilled.
-- Ayshu
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