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Sorry, work. I can’t come in today. My dog’s being too cute.
-- Anonymous
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
-- Anonymous
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You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
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28. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
-- Anonymous
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198. Home is wherever the food is
-- Anonymous
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